Linda, JB, Riley and Dylan are coming for a visit. This is cause for great celebration. And, ok, maybe a little panic. Let us begin:

• The weather always sucks when they are here. Local playgrounds are drippy and covered with moss. So are the local children.
• Of our four dogs, only one is socially acceptable. Charlie pees if you look at him, Cassie is an old grouch when a little boy steps on her tail, Caesar hates everybody. So we need to find at least three places to stash canines. Let’s see … garage … basement … hmm. Sundance, the parrot, only likes me and that’s because I let him bite me. But at least he can remain caged. Maybe Charlie would fit in there, too.
• Linda has gone on record that she isn’t wild about toys that make a whole lot of noise. Wouldn’t you think she’d know better than to tell her mom and me that? So we know our gift will be unappreciated.
• None of us knows anything about contemporary movies, contemporary terms, contemporary fashion. They know nothing about what a mess Nixon left the country in.
• I am vaguely embarrassed to have seen JB’s ass on Linda’s blog.
• I will have to clean house. Not that Linda would require it, but I don’t want her to think I live like this.
• Sis, John and I are each on the back nine. So it is very hard to avoid repeating the same old shit.
• Sis, John and I are each on the back nine. So it is very hard to avoid repeating the same old shit.
• We don’t cook. I think every single time this group has visited, they’ve had Egg McMuffins for breakfast. Hope Dylan is old enough for grease and salt.
• When Riley was a baby, Linda and JB took the ferry to Victoria for an evening, leaving him in our care. That is when I learned that baby boys really do pee up. Sis and I diapered the kid repeatedly, but never put pants on him again until we saw the ferry from Victoria enter our Harbor. Then we dressed him. Unfortunately, I told Linda the story and I am not sure we’ve ever really been trusted since. Rightly so.
• JB’s family is a lot more fun than we are. And we know it.